California Here We Come - Part 2

The Trip


On Monday, February 18, 2008, we finished packing the now very expensive, used van and headed south again. After two weeks at home taking care of long accumulated mail (mostly junk), a snow-covered roof and general house duties; we were ready to once again, leave the last vestiges of winter in Utah behind.

We drove south on I-15, passing familiar landscape and stopped several hundred miles later at Nellis Air Force Base in Las Vegas. Fortunately, the trip was uneventful and yes, the van appeared to be in excellent running condition, at least so far. We drove into the city and stopped at the Orleans Hotel to purchase tickets for the upcoming Neil Sedaka concert, which we will attend on the return trip. We were determined not to eat our first dinner meal at a buffet and so we ate at the Main Street Station buffet! We made a quick trip through the restaurant just to check out the offerings and it looked so inviting that we just had to sit down. We rationalized that since we were already there, we just as well have dinner. Of course, we over ate and knew we would going in, but the food was both varied and excellent. We'll make up for the lapse in good judgement tomorrow.

We enjoyed a good night's sleep at the Nellis Inn and arose early in the morning for breakfast at the Blueberry Hill Cafe - excellent breakfast! Shirley is still suffering from the lingering effects of the flu so we kicked back and went to a movie in the afternoon. I don't care what the critics say, I thought The Bucket List was one of the best movies I've seen in a long time. Nicholson and Freeman were just outstanding, how could these two talents be anything but outstanding. I don't care if Nicholson is paid ten million for any film he does, he's one of the few worth the dough.

Dinner this evening was at Binion's Horseshoe Casino. Binion was a real live outlaw and at one time was the Dallas mob boss and is reputed to have murdered more than one adversary. Benny served several years during the mid ninteen-fifties in Leavenworth for tax evasion. Benny was a Las Vegas icon always serving his customers with his own brand of philosophy: Good food, good whiskey, good gamble. His friend and poker great "Amarillo Slim" Preston suggested as an epitaph, "He was either the gentlest bad guy or the baddest good guy you'd ever seen." I recall seeing Benny Binion years ago sitting at a table with Merle Haggard. Benny was a well-known and often seen fixture in his casino on Glitter Gulch.


California..again

Back to the Inn to get prepared for our travels to California. I've always thought the drive from Las Vegas to Los Angeles was a real drag. The four hours it takes to drive the 270 miles feels like an all day affair. Maybe it's because of the mundane desert scenery that encompasses the first two or three hours and then again it might be the incessant traffic that is so familiar to California drivers. In any event, it's a long day. We arrived at Fort MacArthur around four o'clock in the afternoon and checked into our room. We were looking forward to an early evening and a good night's sleep.

It's Thursday and we're up very early this morning for the drive to Paramount Studios to see the live taping of the Dr. Phil television show. It was the only available taping and I thought what the hell, it's free! The traffic wasn't as bad as I had anticipated and of course, we were able to drive in the diamond (car pool) lane and that really expedited our trip. We arrived as requested before nine a.m. and proceeded to park at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery, apparently the Dr Phil show has an agreement to use their facility for $10 bucks a car. Frankly, I'm no Dr. Phil fan and standing in line for three hours to sit in the audience and watch Dr. Phil discuss the relative merits of spanking children, was not my idea of a good time. In one brief insightful moment into Dr. Phil's temperament we overheard a member of his staff talking on a cell phone behind the stage during his interview with these "child-beaters"and I thought he was going to come right out of his chair. His response to this breach was, "Bones? Bones (one of his many minions, I assume) are you there? Someone is talking and I want it stopped NOW!" I'm sure this fool met with an even stronger litany of Dr. Phil's ire after the show. Anyway, I was glad when the show ended. What's really outrageous is that this guy is paid over $40 million a year for his "professional" opinion. Somethings just aren't fair.

The next day we decided to head to Warner Brothers Studio to check out the tour. I had read that this studio tour was a "real" tour and not contrived or nearly as popular as Universal Studios. One thing is certain, it was lot less expensive than the Universal tour. Our guide, Emily, was extremely knowledgeable and the two and a half hour tour was great fun and gave us some real insight into the operations and the history of movie-making in Hollywood. One of the highlights of the tour was walking onto the set of "Friends" (see above) and visualizing Rachel, Monica, Joey, Phoebe, Chandler and Ross spouting about how you really can never have enough friends.

Emily told us that since the writer's strike had ended they were back to filming and that the following evening they would be taping Two and a Half Men and we should try to get tickets. Fat chance I thought, but what the hell, might just as well call the number she gave me and see what happens. Of course, the phone number resulted in a recording asking for my name and phone number. I did as instructed without the least bit of confidence that I would receive a response.

Lo and behold, the following morning "Steve" called me on my cell phone and told me that though the show was technically sold out, he would put our names on the list and if we arrived early that afternoon, there was a good chance we would be admitted. After driving around the area and once again having lunch at Jerry's Deli in Westwood, we headed to Warner Brothers. We arrived about four-thirty in the afternoon for the seven o'clock taping.

After an hour of waiting outside the gates, a studio representative herded us through the various sound stages until we reached our destination. After everyone was seated, the warm-up guy appeared. Mark Sweet is a professional hypnotist who I suspect makes a fairly decent living as a warm-up act for several series including: Everybody Loves Raymond, Reba, Yes, Dear and of course, Two and a Half Men. I'm not sure I really understand the need to be coaxed, cajoled and bullied into laughing at the right moments throughout the taping, but if that's what it takes, so be it.

Mark was extremely animated throughout the taping and kept the audience aware of the need to react to every scene even after two or three takes of the same comic routine. Charlie Sheen and his sidekick, Jon Cryer would flub their lines frequently and numerous retakes were required and after hearing the same lines three times, it does become a little difficult to conjure up an really authentic guffaw. Mark actually became more obnoxious as the evening progressed with his constant harangues and insistence that members of the audience come forward and engage in ridiculous behavior in front of the other invited guests. Personally, I didn't get a big bang out of exhibitionist people imitating animal sounds or bearing their fat bellies. I know all of this activity was meant to fill up the dead space between takes and set arrangements, but I was too interested in what was taking place on stage with the hundreds of staffers moving around the set.

There were producers and directors, assistant directors, assistants to the assistant directors, make-up people, set designers, camera operators, costume people and a variety of grunt workers. Mark told us that it required over 250 people to pull off the show and I would guess that they all take home nice paychecks, especially the "stars". As a matter of fact, Charlie Sheen is the highest paid actor in a sitcom on television with a reported salary of $500K per episode. In other words, one of Hollywood's notorious bad boys made a cool half a million during the time I was sitting in the studio audience listening to half-baked jokes from the warm-up guy! Hey, life ain't fair.

Well, we had our fling with Hollywood and it was time to prepare for our next adventure on the Carnival Spirit to the Mexican Riviera. We drove from L.A. to San Diego the next day where we would board our ship. While in San Diego we again stayed at the Navy Lodge and ventured out to see more sights. The weather was warm and sunny so we decided to take the harbor cruise. This is really a fun and inexpensive way to see both the south and north arms of the harbor. The guide points out all of the interesting landmarks along the coast and on Coronado Island, Harbor Island and Shelter Island. It was a great way to spend the afternoon.

The Cruise

The following day I picked up our cruising partners, Doug and Bonnie Wright at the airport and headed back to the Navy Lodge where Shirley was busy with her last minute packing. We drove to the pier and left the ladies at the dock as Doug and I returned to the Naval Station to park my car during our absence. After we returned to the pier, we began the checking-in process. We boarded the Carnival Spirit and went to our assigned cabin, number 5157, on the Upper deck. We had reserved a balcony with an obstructed view which meant that when we stepped out on our balcony we had a view of the life boats, but if we stretched we could still see the ocean. After settling in we met our friends in the LaPlaya Grill for the first of many buffet lunches.

On this cruise to the Mexican Riviera the ports-of-call were Acapulco, Zihuatanejo and Manzanillo. After two days at sea we sailed into the port of Acapulco and decided to spend our time visiting the ancient petroglyphs of Palma Sola. Palma Sola is a recently discovered archaeological site about a thousand feet above sea level in El Valadero National Park, overlooking the beautiful Acapulco Bay. After a thirty minute ride we arrived at the site and began our trek up the mountain. The path is lined with large stone steps and every hundred yards or so are 2,500 year old petroglyphs. There are dozens of designs ranging from anthromorphological to zoomorphological images created by the first settlers in the area, the Yopes. Very little is known about this civilization though it is believed they developed this site in the period from 600 BC to 200 AD. It was an interesting and energizing day after two days of deck dwelling on the ship.

The next port-of-call was Zihuatanejo, the name Zihuatanejo in the native language means "place of women" because it was a matriarchal society. In pre-Columbian times, a Tarascan leader with a title of Caltzontzin (that means: He who governs countless houses) frequented the area from the modern day Lake Pátzcuaro region. Legend has it that he constructed the rock barrier on Playa Las Gatas (named for the harmless whiskered sharks that used to be found there) to provide a sheltered swimming area and harbor for the women and children, though the town's official historian says this is a myth. Nevertheless, that barrier, whether man-made or natural, continues to protect the beach to this day.

Zihuatanejo and the neighboring town of Ixtapa are primarily tourist destinations today. Ixtapa was built by the Mexican government in the late sixties to serve as a resort for tourists. Ixtapa is a world class resort with two champion golf courses and half a dozen world class International resort franchise hotels (from Club Med to Radisson) and half a dozen more renowned Mexican national brand hotels (Presidente Intercontinental, Las Brisas). Ixtapa is also home to Marina Ixtapa, a first-class marina with more than 600 slips for boats.

I prefer the laid back style of Zihuatenejo and fortunately that's where the ship docked. We left the ship and boarded the tender to take us to the pier while the Carnival anchored off shore (see inset). As we strolled along the beach I recalled our first visit to this sleepy fishing village. It was a trip we took with our son Jason and one of his buddies almost twenty years ago. We spent the first few days in Acapulco and then drove the approximate 130 miles northwest to Zihuatenejo. We found the Sotavento Hotel as we were driving through the area and decided that with its absolutely glorious view of the bay and the very reasonable price - $30.00; it was perfect.

We decided to once again visit the hotel and after a charming walk of about a mile through town we came upon the Sotavento. It was still unchanged after all these years, but the surrounding properties were now sleek, modern and very pricey. It was still a diamond in the rough destined to fall by the wayside in the near future to make way for another newer and more lavish property. I was very curious to see what, if anything, had changed at the hotel and of course the first change was the price. Our thirty dollar room was now $145.00. We wound our way down the myriad of stairs leading to the beach and found "our" room and the maid was kind enough to let us walk through and rekindle a vision of the room those many years ago. The room was exactly as we had left it and the hammock hanging from the porch may well have been the same one. In any event, it was a fun revisit of a moment in time.

Our final port-of-call was Manzanillo, the largest port in Western Mexico and about 165 miles south of Puerto Vallarta. Manzanillo is not a heavily called on port by cruise lines yet and so it is somewhat less spoiled by tourism. Our plan for the day was to visit the pyramids at La Campana on the outskirts of the state capital of Colima. After leaving the ship we hired a taxi to drive us the two hours from the port to Colima. Our driver, Francisco, was only slightly more fluent in English than I was in Spanish, but between the two of us and a lot of finger pointing, we managed to arrive safely. The drive through the countryside was very interesting and included plantations of coffee, bananas, avocado, limes, tomatoes and tropical varieties of fruit such as mango, mamey, tamarind and coconut. The state of Colima appears to be prospering and the people are friendly and hard-working.

La Campana has the only "Tumba de Tiro" which literally means tomb shooting, open to the public in Colima, that's why this site is better than the others. The graves are dug in rectangular or circular shape anywhere from six to thirteen feet deep. Inside the grave at La Campana you can see handmade figures (like the little dogs), pottery made from mud and obsidian and skeletal remains. The pyramids at La Campana are not as tall as you might see at other excavations throughout Mexico, for example the great pyramids at Chichen Itza, but they are very interesting. There are fifteen squares surrounded by big constructions and pyramids. The site is very impressive and even more so when one realizes that the current excavation represents perhaps as little as one percent of the total original community.

As we departed La Campana we were awestruck by two massive volcanos in the distance rising from the earth. These volcanoes: Volcán de Colima (or Volcán de Fuego) is 12,992 feet high, not quite as high as its sister volcano, the Nevado de Colima, only five miles further north, which, at 14,206 feet above sea level, is Mexico's sixth highest peak. In the past 400 years, the Volcán de Fuego has been the most active volcano in Mexico, and indeed one of the most active in the world, having erupted at least 30 times since 1576. It is considered to be one of the country's most dangerous volcanoes. Numerous villages in its shadow keep a wary eye on its level of activity. Emergency evacuations have become a regular event since its latest burst of activity began in 1961.

On our return we visited the capital, Colima, and stopped briefly to walk through the main square and visit the numerous gardens throughout the square. After our brief visit to Colima we drove another six miles to the town of Comalá, named after the Mexican cooking utensil on which most of the corn-based botanas are prepared, the comal. The sopitos, small tortillas covered with tender, tasty shredded meat, were delicious and numerous varieties kept coming our way. The ceviche, marinated fish, on a corn tortilla, was excellent and no doubt originated in Manzanillo, the port is known as the swordfish and sailfish capital.

We arrived back at the ship with time to spare and went back to our cabin to freshen up and head to dinner. The dinner menu on the Carnival was generally pretty decent and offered a variety of selections. The only problem with food on the ship was a tendency to over eat, but then, that's part of the culture of cruising.

We now had two days at sea before returning to San Diego and we were all looking forward to a little "down" time. The days at sea are usually spent at a leisurely pace and aside from catching up on some long delayed reading, we wiled away the hours playing cards and of course, eating. The seas were moderately calm and I experienced only a mild case of mal de mer and we enjoyed the frequent visits from a family of dolphins and numerous sea turtles.

The Return Home

The ship docked in San Diego early in the morning on Wednesday the fifth of March and we grabbed our luggage at dock side and went back to the Navy Base to retrieve our car. We were on the road by nine in the morning headed back to Las Vegas. Again we would spend the next two nights at Nellis Air force Base with the highlight being the Sedaka concert at the Orleans on Thursday evening. The attendees at the concert was as expected, mostly senior citizens or soon-to-be seniors, who lived with the music of the fifties, sixties and into the seventies. Everyone in the audience knew Neil's repertoire and you could see heads bobbing, feet tapping and lips syncing the words to everyone of those classics that meant so much to that generation. Sedaka's last "great" tune was "Laughter in the Rain" in 1974 written by Neil and Philip Cody, a great songwriter who has collaborated with Neil on many of his best including: Solitaire and Bad Blood.

Unfortunately, the evening ended on a sour note. When we returned to our van in the parking lot of the hotel, I was immediately confronted with the reality of rampant crime in Las Vegas. The driver's side window had been broken and the thieves had grabbed my GPS. If they had asked, I probably would have given it to them rather than deal with the replacement of the window. But, hey, this is Las Vegas, a desperate city filled with desperate people.

The weather was warm and so I decided to leave the broken window as it was until we arrived in Cedar City. So we hit the road with a fully air conditioned vehicle and drove to Cedar City with the deafening sound of the wind racing through our ears. We stopped briefly at a friend's house in Cedar and he helped me put a temporary fix on the window using plastic and tape. Fully encased, we jumped back on I-15 and headed north to Salt Lake City. We arrived home late in the afternoon and were relieved to see everything as it was when we left. Thomas, our current familial boarder, had ensured, with the exception of his total disaster of a bedroom, that everything else was in proper order.

The second trip to California and Mexico was equally as pleasant as the first and we enjoyed every moment - well, maybe not every moment, there was the window and nasty Dr. Phil. However, leaving the cold and snow behind in Utah is always pleasant no matter what else happens. But, as they say, it is always nice to be back home. Adios!